The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
