There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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