So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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