My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
