Whod you bang
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize