I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize