dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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