I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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