ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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