I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
