Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
