He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
