you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
