do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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