I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
