do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
