ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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