You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
