She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
