so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I could make wine with my vomit
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
