just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
