can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize