I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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