how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
