Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
