Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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