So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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