i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
