He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Randomize
