She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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