i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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