I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
