better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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