"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
