i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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