Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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