He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
