He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he shaved USA in his pubs
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize