So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
