You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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