and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no you cant smoke seaweed
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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