We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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