That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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