i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
