So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
