My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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