I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
