Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize