dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize