Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
