I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
