My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
this boner is exhausting
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
