Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
