So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
