Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
