you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
