ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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