Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
