Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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