I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
