whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
