I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
