Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
