i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How drunk are you?
Completed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
